Epistulae Ciceronis

The Ugly Girl.

2009-07-20T21:24:12Z

Everyone knows the ugly girl - although you may be forgiven for not recognizing her at first. From a block away you are aware of her trim figure, confident strut and designer rags. She moves with a purpose not afforded women who take their looks for granted. She bathes in the glances, gawks and double takes knowing her fifteen minutes will not last.

And yet even then you may not recognize her. Not until your eyes meet and you witness that glint of resentment. At that point you know her. You remember her. Perhaps it was middle school, or before. The thick glasses, the braces. The baby fat ten years past baby. She awkwardly holds books to her chest while you and your friends walk past her, unaware.

Of course, it was you. Or someone cut from the same arrogant chauvinism as you. Someone with the same interlocking anatomy who only noticed her once she had bloomed.

Once ugly, always ugly. She may marry the prince, but she'll never forgive him.

Katie's 28th Birthday Party

2009-06-06T18:47:21Z

I suspect most of you are on my 1928 party invite list, but for you Facebook haters: we're throwing a birthday party for Katie on Sunday, June 21st, 1959 at 5:00PM. (Yes, that's a subtle hint at a theme). It's a potluck so you should come prepared with sides to share or meats for the grill. Katie also just bought some new patio furniture which we should have in by then; since everyone tends to lounge on the patio during summer parties anyway, we figured we'd at least make it comfortable.

Also, this is a heads up that you should block off the evening of Friday, September 11th, 2009 on your calendar as you're committed to coming to my as-of-yet-unannounced-but-hardly-difficult-to-guess-the-theme-of party, which will last well into Saturday. I don't like to hype my own parties but seriously, this is the event we've all been waiting nearly a decade for.

Strawberries will never taste so good

2009-05-31T01:57:52Z

"When our food and clothing and housing all are born in the complication of mass production, mass method is bound to get into our thinking and to eliminate all other thinking. In our time mass or collective production has entered our economics, our politics, and even our religion, so that some nations have substituted the idea collective for the idea God... There are no good collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy. Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man." - John Steinbeck, from East of Eden.

Atlanta Zoo

2009-04-15T18:40:23Z

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I was kicking myself when we decided to go to the Atlanta Zoo and I realized I'd left my 100mm lens at home. Not that I have any real interest in nature photography but there are some shots that are simply obligatory. Of course, I'm even more disappointed that I didn't even bring my camera to the Atlanta Aquarium, which was really awesome - although it's not like I would have taken any photos that haven't already been taken a thousand times before.

Overall the Atlanta Zoo isn't really that great. I much prefer the Woodland Park Zoo here in Seattle if only because the habitats feel much more natural. The big attraction at the Atlanta Zoo is the baby panda which was cute - although Katie and I got more out of the reptile exhibit which included tons of baby turtles.

Friday Night Social

2009-04-14T15:57:51Z

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Photos from the Friday Night Social back in November. Back when I still ~~through~~ threw parties.

Snow Day

2009-04-12T16:13:43Z

Like half the photos on my camera were from that week in December when it snowed and everyone decided it would be better to hang out with friends than go to work. Everyday should be snow day. Unfortunately, most of the photos fall under the "had to of been there" category but I managed to salvage a few.

I think this is the only picture I have of the outside of my house. Everything looks so pretty in the snow!

Bedroom

2009-04-11T22:11:07Z

I totally forgot that I owned a camera. I have photos going back to like December! These two were taken in January after Katie and I finished hanging my peacock screen. It may not look like much but it took us a couple hours to get it mounted and level, so were were pretty proud. I think it fills out the room nicely. Now we just need to get a new bedspread and rug. (The sheepskin rug was actually intended for this room but we put it in the library until we find a cowskin rug for that room).

I want this poster.

2009-04-08T05:37:20Z

Travel Slut.

2009-03-23T17:46:48Z

I'm so eager for adventure that I never really think about where I'm going (or why) until I'm there. If you called me up and told me you had an extra ticket for a trip tomorrow I'd agree to go even before knowing the destination. And its for that exact reason that I now find myself in the middle of Georgia. (Sweet home Georgia not Russia Georgia).

Dogville

2009-02-01T21:36:55Z

"There's an American TV show in which the president of the US is black. People say, 'Oh look, that's OK, there's a black president on TV.' That's completely humiliating because that's not how it is. There's no black president. Political correctness kills discussion." - Lars von Trier.

Self-Righteousness

2009-01-15T18:15:37Z

Have I mentioned how much I adore Roger Ebert lately? "Art-directed in gloomy House of Tudor colors, "The Other Boleyn Girl" offers high-toned pulp for those who like to imagine themselves superior to ranch-colonial Desperate Housewives, and who don't like to feel so guilty about the pleasure they get from vicarious lust and treachery. Movies like this are designed to let the art-house crowd revel in marginally educative vulgarity without getting their sensibilities dirty."

Home Alone 4, part 2.

2008-12-17T21:55:06Z

There's no food in the house, so I'm drinking beer.

John's Birthday Party

2008-11-15T22:17:12Z

[+230 | Slideshow]

uncelestial had a pretty epic birthday party at his new home last night. The best addition (which I'm totally going to gank for my next theme party) was a greenscreen photobooth with 20+ backgrounds. Of course, the 9/11 background was the most popular - you just can't go wrong with exploding planes.

I was in a quiet mood last night and took quite a few photos, although my camera managed to make the rounds so I'm looking forward to what debauchery found its way onto my memory card. Of course, I still haven't posted photos from my halloween party yet so we'll see if I ever get around to going through them.

Pumpkin Carving Party

2008-10-29T00:15:12Z

The other day Katie threw a pumpkin carving and dinner party for her friends (as well as a few of mine) at our house. I wasn't feeling particularly social, which means you actually get photos.

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Oh, and this set includes probably my favorite photo ever of meowlet.

Hot young co-eds!

2008-10-28T21:19:14Z

Katie and I are hosting a fundraiser for the University of Washington Department of Applied Mathematics on November 15th. We're getting donations of kegs from local microbreweries (TDB; details expected on Friday). All proceeds will be used to fund at least one research position over the summer. We have no idea what the field of study for this student will be, however many applied mathemeticians go on to build weapons for the military; obviously, blowing up people in the name of science is a good cause that we can all get behind.

The cover will be $15 ($10 with student ID); for this price, you get an endless supply of alcohol (the department has done mathemetical modeling of alcohol consumption and feels confident they can honor this commitment). The party will likely start around 7:00pm and will be located at our house (1928 10th Ave. E.). Since this is a fundraiser, we're allowing anyone in who meets the cover charge - although if they're ugly we'll likely quarantine them in the basement (sorry, I have standards to maintain).

I'll be posting an invite to Facebook on Monday, once the details have all been confirmed. For now this is a heads-up.

Note: If you can't attend but would like to support the nuking-of-innocent-civis, you can also fund the Applied Mathematics Half Marathon Team, who will be running (half of) the Seattle Marathon on November 30th. Their goal is to raise $20,000 by then! [Donation Form] (PDF).

ATTN: goldfischegirl: You'll be excited to know that the Applied Math faculty will be showing up - drunk professors, what could go wrong?

Iris and Cooper

2008-10-23T20:01:36Z

The unholy offspring of getlocalgirl and caseyplusplus.

Willow's Costume Party

2008-10-23T19:48:54Z

A few weeks ago, while honoring the Woman Out Of Town (woot) Protocol, goldfischegirl, mrsimul and I crashed my friend Willow's party hell-and-gone somewhere in South Seattle (original post). Anyway, I uploaded the photos a while back but never got a chance to cross-post them here. Many of the pictures from the set were taken by Ashley as we were sharing camera duty that night. It ended up being a pretty wild party and there are some fun photos in the set.

Ashley took this one, although you'd never know. Our styles have seemed to merge over the last few years.

This was my costume for part of the night. I also ended up as an injun at some point, a cowboy at another and a farmer (?) at yet another. These photos were obviously taken by Ashley.

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He said it.

2008-10-23T17:39:48Z

uncelestial: i know i've taken out pumpkin guts.
uncelestial: that's like getting to second base with a pumpkin
uncelestial: i can't remember if i've gone all the way.

Political Quiz.

2008-10-22T21:01:21Z

Let's talk about the real issues.

View Poll: #1283466

Castrated Men and Uptight Women.

2008-10-20T20:38:25Z

The other day, herbaliser pointed me to a post on the Stranger’s Slog by Dan Savage regarding “nice guys” and their fear of being (seen as) pigs, centering around a letter from a 28-year-old virgin (!!).

This, as many of you know, is one of my pet topics. I can’t stand nice guys. And, to be clear, I’m not talking about people who are genuinely nice; I’m talking about people who need to be perceived as nice. Men who, due to shyness, insecurity, or some misplaced ideology (think: masculine guilt) cower behind safe opinions, don’t stand-up for themselves and go out of their way to behave how they think people want them to behave. Spineless men who, inevitably, descend to either self-righteousness judgment, a victim mentality or both. These are the scumbags who think pretending to be a girl’s friend gives them some sort of priority ranking in her dating life – and then get mopey when she dates a “bad boy” (who is really just someone who is confident, assertive and willing to make the first move). If you’re reading this and it sounds at all familiar: grow a dick. Seriously.

Of course, nice guy’s mean well. They just want to be liked and accepted, like anyone. Their only crime is that they’ve taken the text-book social code (of treating other people with respect, honoring their boundaries) too seriously; they try too hard. They’ve substituted personality with inoffensiveness. We’ve all been here, I suspect; some of us got over it in grade school, others waited until college. But we got there. Nice guys, however, are stuck in that rut; they are so invested in their ideology that it becomes a matter of pride: they see themselves as a rare and noble breed that has been abandoned by a misguided and irresponsible world. And, of course, their views are probably reinforced (if not informed) by female friends who project their discomfort with unwelcome male advances inside stories of being “stalked” (for fun, see almost raped).

Anyway, back to the article. Dan Savage gives some sensible advice that boils down to the following wisdom:

Let your inner pig out… Everyone wants to be with someone who LUSTS after ‘em, or wants ‘em, who’ll take ‘em. You can be a good, respectful guy AND be a “pig” too... The next time you’re interested in a woman, let her know… Will she think you’re a pig? If she isn’t into you, she might. If she is, she won’t.Which I pretty much completely agree with. But the really interesting part of the post (as is the case with most posts) is the responses. Some of my favorites - where “favorites” means comments that reinforce or articulate my own views:

Discuss.

Finally.

2008-10-20T02:48:10Z

USO Ball

2008-10-19T20:15:43Z

As has been the trend lately, I was more interested in socializing than taking photographs and so I only have a handful of pictures from the party. Fortunately, popcultureicon was in attendance with his Canon 450D. The lighting was dim so I loaned him my flash and, despite never working with an attached unit, he took an exceptional set that really captures the mood of the party. Every few years it seems the Official Event Photographer role passes to a new person; originally it was goldfischegirl, then the baton was ~~passed on~~ deceitfully taken by me, and now Christopher's assumed responsibility. (This, I fear, means I my camera will get invited to less parties).

meowlet with a World War II era newspaper (she brought a bunch of neat relics from the 40s).

Katie also really likes suxdonut's photo of the cake. Another shot of my costume, also by popcultureicon.

suxdonut and clay88.

[+61 | Slideshow] [Additional sets by: Ashley, Ang, and Tatiana]

The 1943 USO Ball has been my favorite party at the new house, if not the best party I've ever thrown. The theme was very successful; I think it was planned long-enough in advance and offered enough quickly-assembled costume ideas that it was easy for people to come in character. Katie also did a great job compiling the background music, which helped maintain the mood. A fairly decent sized crowed showed up (I'd estimate 50 people?); probably less than the last party, but it was a diverse group of friends which kept things interesting without getting out-of-hand. Quite a few people showed up who I haven't seen in a long-time, including meowlet and seennotheard (who made a fantastic Rosie the Riveter); this made me happy. (Of course, others were missed, such as sidspencer, my father and practically all of Katie's friends who are, apparently, terrified of my parties).

The open mic idea worked out really well (thanks to John for supplying the equipment). goldfischegirl and uncelestial kicked off the set with Nat King Cole's L-O-V-E which was simply fantastic and really anchored the evening. Every party needs some element that sets it apart from other parties and really establishes the mood; at Daddy's Little Girl it was the stripper pole (thank you cagekitten!) - here it was John and Ashley's performance (his recap). I also really liked the Hitler Haiku bit; a number of people wrote haikus and, once they started they kept on coming. I think we're going to do the open mic thing at more parties, possibly each with a haiku theme.

On the downside, I'm still getting the feel of the new house in terms of parties. The whole house audio and dim lighting are huge pluses, as is the mix of seating (for the bookends) and standing room. However, there is a huge chokehold (as herbaliser put it) in the kitchen making it crowded and noisy. Some of my favorite house parties have done a better job establishing different moods for different rooms to distribute the crowd. At the Z-House New Years Party this year, for instance, they had the makeout room (covered in pillows, blankets; only accessible by crawling through a makeshift chimney), which was a completely different energy than, say, the upstairs dance floor. Or, at glitterus's old house, it was the red room downstairs. In this vein, I'd like to put a rug in the blue room and a dimmer on the light to encourage floor seating. I also like the idea of putting on videos downstairs that relate to the theme; for instance, I wish I had gotten a DVD of war broadcasts to play down there to make the basement more inviting. Last, I'd like to get a space heater for that deck (although that never stops people from hanging out up there, even in the rain). Oh, and maybe a disco ball for my bedroom ;-).

The low-point of the evening was when dearnana pushed herbaliser down the stairs with her crutches. When we first moved in, Reg, Laural and myself started a betting pool on who the first casualty of the stairs would be. Apparently it was Laural. She fell down an entire half-flight of rough-hewn glass stairs and scraped herself up pretty bad. Apparently it killed the mood in the room for a few minutes while people tried to figure out if she was alive or not.

Compared to my old house parties, things died down early with most people leaving around 2:00 AM. Of course, they also seemed to get into full swing much earlier - perhaps around 9:30 PM. By 3:00 AM everything had the makings of a adulterous orgy and so velvet and herbaliser escaped with patrick, popcultureicon, uncelestial, dearnana and others to Reg and Laural's for an after party (at which John and I passed out, at some point). That lasted until 10:00 AM which reminded us of parties-of-old; I didn't get to sleep until almost noon. It was disturbing waking up at 5:00 PM and showering as the sun set outside.

I originally planned on selling my costume when I was done, but I've realized that the flight suit is totally comfortable. In fact, I wore it out on the town last night (to Satellite, Chapel). It's amazing to me how high of quality the clothes are at the Army/Navy Surplus store despite being really cheap and look surprisingly good (although not as good as Nazi uniforms; why couldn't Hugo Boss have been born in America??). Anyway, I'm thinking I'll start shopping there more often for my clothing. Oh, and of course I wouldn't get rid of the helmet and goggles; they are World War II vintage that Katie bought me for my birthday.

Anyway, thanks to all of the people who showed up and made it such a memorable birthday! I hope everyone else had as good of a time as I did.

Katiepalooza

2008-09-24T21:07:25Z

I've been together with sarevilo for over three years now. Historically, I tend to get bored quickly, with most relationships ending before the one-year mark.

I've put together a slideshow of my favorite photos of Katie from this time.

July 27th, 2005. Right after we met. From a trip to Chuckanut Drive. I also like the one of Katie's eyes.

August 8th, 2005. At one of my instructors' house. I also like the one of me from that set.

August 9th, 2005. From a photoshoot of Katie down at the Georgetown railroad tracks, near where goldfischegirl used to live. At the time I wasn't happy with this set, but on hindsight some of these are a lot of fun.

August 22nd, 2005. The New Years, 1936 party (one of my favorite party sets). This is the party that Katie and I got married at (thank you, fritz_da_kat). The photo isn't all that great, but it's the only one we have.

September 13th, 2005. At Lamanai, from our trip to Belize. There are a lot of good photos from that set. Like when some guy proposed to her. Or another painted up her face. This was also when she was really sick - while traveling! I was so worried.

February 11th, 2006. Impromptu photo shoot in the living room of my Bothell house. There are several good ones of Katie in there.

October 14th, 2006. My thirtieth birthday party, "Daddy's Little Girl".

October 29th, 2006. Dia de los muertos, at goldfischegirl's mom's church (another good party set).

August 9th, 2006. Chichicastenango, Guatemala (my favorite travel set). There are tons of great shots of Katie in this set, including our friendly house guest, explaining photography to the children in the Ixil Triangle, canoeing up the Rio Dolce, going Indiana Jones at Aguatecain Sayaxche, spelunking at Bombil Pek and, of course, getting soaked at the amazing Semuc Champey. That was such an amazing trip!

November 5th, 2006. North Cascade Highway. Beautiful drive. We have tentative plans with suxdonut to drive up there when the leaves turn; I can't wait!

August 3rd, 2008. Nordlingen, Germany. From our recent trip to Europe. Not too many photos of Katie since I spent most of the time traveling around on my own (while she was at her mathematics conference), but there are a couple - such as one of her in a train station or atop of Michelangelo’s Dome at Saint Peter's Basilica.

Other memorable moments I didn't post include Katie holding a baby alligator!, drunk with a piñata at ashlin519's Birthday Fiesta, building her first computer, getting her cards read in Jackson Square, and, of course, a boobage shot from some house party (and another!).

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Matt and Melissa's Wedding

2008-09-11T00:23:51Z

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Matt's wedding turned out fantastic. The bathhouse at Golden Gardens was the perfect location for the event, and worked quite well for the photography as well. For Katie and I it was a nice balance between work and fun. It's also the first wedding we've ever shot where some family member didn't get on our case for drinking the alcohol or eating the food (inevitably someone treats us as the hired help, not realizing we're also on the guest list).

Our new equipment is proving its worth; I think the wedding shots turned out nice. I really love my 40D and Katie's 1D has proven useful due to the 1.3x crop and extremely fast 15fps. We rented the 85mm f/1.2 as usual as well as the 15mm fisheye. The latter was nice to have, although we only used a handful of the shots since they look a bit gimmicky in bulk. Still, between the lens optics and the wide angle it was a lot of fun to use. We'll probably buy both lenses eventually, although Katie would rather get the 14mm rectilinear - it's hard to justify buying two $2,000 lenses, though.

I still believe, at some level, that you're only as good as your worst photo - and by that yardstick I have a long, long way to go. But looking at the top 10% of my photos I'm pretty happy with this set.

Sexual Subtext of Politics

2008-09-04T03:02:15Z

Last week, herbaliser sent me a link from the Stranger talking about how McCain's offensive, fundamentally, "seeks to translate Obama's hard-won political currency into the primal terms of unbridled, white-female lust for black cock". This concept, of course, is not new - the book Gender and Law blames a similar fear on the introduction of gender-specific law in the United States (actually a fascinating argument, but tangential to this post). And, of course, as a white male I share this fear of disempowerment by way of the great obsidian obelisk [contemplate].

But, really: shame on the Republicans for resorting to such base bigotry in their political campaigns.

This is old news, though. No one cares about Obama's cock anymore. Our minds are far too occupied with what Sarah Palin might be like in bed. In fact, since McCain's announcement of his running mate, the few remarks I've heard about Sarah Palin's politics have been completely eclipsed by the impressive amount of content pertaining to the attractiveness of her and her family. Every feminist fear of what Clinton's campaign would inevitably deteriorate into has been realized in response to the Palin's nomination.

The fascinating part is that this hasn't spawned from the mouths of right-wing radicals like Rush Limbaugh, but from my own circle of left-liberal friends. But, of course, Sarah Palin gave up her right to being evaluated independent of her gender as soon as she chose to support the rights of unborn babies. In fact, since the pro-life movement is an overt attempt of the patriarchy to keep women in a subservient position, can Sarah Palin really even qualify as a female?

But, of course, none of this really matters anyway - why bother evaluating her politics when we know she slept her way to the top anyway?